One Month Ago

I just happened to look at the date on my calendar.  It hit me.  It hit me pretty hard.  One month ago I was sitting in the emergency room.  One month ago my life changed forever.  One month ago I had know idea how strong my faith would become.  One month ago would bring me closer to God than I could ever imagine.

It is amazing how quickly we can forget the painful times that pass in life.  As women, we forget the absolute excruciating pain of childbirth rather quickly.  If not, God knows that we would all only have one child each =)  We forget the pain of watching our children get stitches and how we must hold them down to get them done correctly.  If we didn’t forget, we would wrap them in bubble wrap and make them run around in helmets. 

I truly believe that God helps to lessen those memories and replaces them with the joy that surrounds each one.  Instead of remembering the pain of childbirth, we remember the sweet smell of that newborn placed in your arms for the first time.  Instead of remembering the stitches, we remember holding them in our arms and comforting them when it is all over. 

This is what is helping me get through every minute of this moment of my life.  It is knowing that even though I am in the midst of something horrible, I know that God will replace these memories with precious ones.  I know that instead of remembering the time after the seizure that he was unresponsive, I will remember his arm reaching towards me in the ambulance when I called his name.  I know that instead of remembering the pain of watching my husband try to say his name, I’ll remember the first time he could say mine.    Instead of remembering the moment we found out that he had a tumor, I’ll remember when they told us that it was operable.  Instead of remembering the last painful few minutes before they took him out to surgery,  I’ll remember him humming “How Great Is Our God” in the recovery room. 

My last memory is not one that has occurred yet.  God has it placed deep down in my heart just waiting for the right moment.  Instead of remembering the crushing moment when we heard that he had cancer, I will joyfully remember the moment when the cancer is gone.  I just know in my heart that God will heal him.  I just know in my heart that those words are on the tip of His tongue, and they will be said in His timing. 

So tonight, I want to remember all of the wonderful times that have come out of this trying month.  Our life has been filled with hills and valleys, but with God by our side we have made it through with ease.  He will continue to travel with us to Houston and help me remember the good out of every bad situation.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6


8 Responses to “One Month Ago”

  1. 1 Alisa Figueroa September 8, 2008 at 12:44 am

    Wow. Your faith is so strong and so pure. I honor you. I’m honored to know you and I thank G-d you are in my life.

  2. 2 Erin Pote September 8, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Tracey, your words are a true inspiration. When Ricky is healed and life returns to “normal” will you please consider writing those children’s books? Maybe a book for kids and how to deal with the pain of cancer in their lives. I believe your words would comfort and heal a great many families. Thank you for sharing this. I have to go blow my nose now;)

  3. 3 Rick Sweet September 8, 2008 at 7:18 am

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you both in Houston. Tracey you have a way with words thank you for your inspiration and words to live life by. I have said this to you before thank you both for all that you give to others.

  4. 4 Colleen Endres September 8, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    You don’t go to Houston alone. Your faith family is very present with you.

  5. 5 The Harang Family September 8, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    We are keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. You are a wonderful family and an inspiration to all of us.

  6. 6 The Diehls September 8, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    As always, our thoughts and prayers are with you and all of the medical staff that will be giving their opinion. Safe travels.

    “Our God is an Awesome God”

    The Diehls

  7. 7 Janeen September 8, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    I love reading your blog. You make me smile and cry at the same time. Know that you are always in my prayers. Janeen Duckworth

  8. 8 Karine September 23, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Tracey, your words are undescridable just as your faith and our GOD. It deeply touchs hearts. It reminds me of how Great GOD is and how HE will never leave HIS childrem side. Thank you so much for sharing a context and a way to live in faith that should be part of each one of us “remind notes” and daily life.
    I love and miss each one of you.
    Karine and Mark

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